Rudeus was completely stunned.
And not just because he got slapped.
It started the moment Eris jumped down from the carriage.
A whirlwind of impressions stabbed into his brain like red-hot iron rods:
Arrogant. Wild. Unruly. Fierce.
Eyes tilted upward in defiance, crimson hair surging like a storm.
That brilliant red—
It reminded him of the scene where Allen had once stood alone before the crimson lake of Snow Valley.
Her features were sharp and well-defined. She would definitely grow into a beauty. But to many men, she’d probably be the type to provoke a “She’s way out of my league” reaction.
Even the most hard-core masochists might reconsider.
He couldn’t help but ask himself:
Am I a masochist?
No, definitely not.
Just as that thought passed, Philip’s “friendly introduction” reached his ears.
Huh? Allen’s biological sister?? No wonder she came off the carriage looking for her brother. Come to think of it, Allen’s whole family has strong genes—everyone’s so good-looking… Wait, did he say she has no friends? Isn’t that just like Allen when we first met? If she’s Allen’s sister, she must be a good person, right?
Maybe this whole first impression is just a misunderstanding. I should probably go say hi. If I’m rude to his sister, would Allen hold it against me? Better not take that risk.
With that in mind, Rudeus started to step forward to greet her.
But Eris’s gaze—sharp as blades—raked across him like she was surveying her territory.
Rudeus shivered involuntarily. Every cell in his body screamed in protest.
Forget it! She’s here for Allen—I shouldn’t steal the spotlight.
The leg he had just lifted obediently reversed course in midair and stepped back—right behind Allen.
Unfortunately for him, in Eris’s eyes, that retreat looked exactly like guilt.
And so—
Everything unfolded exactly as Allen had predicted.
Rudeus was promptly and efficiently slapped.
In the stunned silence that followed, with Sylphy staring wide-eyed, Rudeus clutched his cheek and stood there frozen for several seconds before he finally reacted.
You were looking for Allen—why the hell did you hit me?! Mistaken identity?? Wait, why would you hit your brother to begin with? Just because of this home tutor thing??
Rudeus shot a glance at Allen, who was covering his face like he’d seen this coming from a mile away, and at Philip, who looked just as bewildered as he felt.
A hot wave of anger surged through his chest.
“Why did you hit me?! Do I look like Allen to you?? And Sylphy might be a little flat, but she’s obviously a girl, okay?! How is saying something like that even remotely okay?!”
Sylphy, flustered and overwhelmed, froze for a second. Her eyes flicked toward Allen, clearly unsure what to think.
But then—remembering Roxy—her expression eased again.
Rudeus, however, was still seething.
“So rude.”
And with that, he swung back.
The slap wasn’t strong, but Eris’s skin, pampered as it was, was soft and delicate.
The sound was crisp and loud.
Silence fell.
Paul and Zenith, who had been growing uneasy and were just about to step in, froze in place as they watched their normally composed Rudeus give Eris a clean slap across the face.
Even Philip—who had just looked away from Allen’s face-palming expression—couldn’t suppress a genuine sound of admiration, forced out from deep in his throat.
“Oh?”
And then came the counterstrike—a flurry of fists!
With practiced ease, Eris slugged Rudeus and sent him sprawling.
She didn’t stop there. The training she’d received from Ghislaine surfaced in full force.
Before Rudeus could recover, she pinned his arms under her knees and started raining blows down on him from left and right.
“Allen, you arrogant jerk! I’ll make you regret slapping me!”
This Rudeus, though, had been sparring with Allen regularly. He was no longer the canon timeline’s helpless Saint-rank magician who got flattened by an Eris trained only in beginner-level Sword God Style.
After the initial daze, he instantly reacted, conjuring a gust of wind right in front of himself using wind magic, forming a pressure barrier that blocked all her punches perfectly.
He bared his teeth and shouted in frustration.
“I’m not Allen!!”
“You think I’m that easy to fool?!”
Sylphy rushed in to break up the fight, only to be shoved aside by Eris.
“Rudeus, stay out of this!!”
That only made Rudeus yell louder, even more aggrieved.
“She’s not Rudeus!! She’s a girl! How many times do I have to say it?!”
“Stop fighting!! Please!!”
“Huh?! Sylphy, open your eyes—I’m the one getting my ass beat here!!”
Chaos.
Utter chaos.
And where was the eye of the storm, Allen?
He was standing off to the side, still covering his face—absolutely delighted.
He knew perfectly well that in this new timeline, Eris had no way of actually winning against Rudeus. After Rudeus reflexively slapped her back, and given that Philip was still present, he’d just stick to using defensive magic.
But that wasn’t what Allen was focused on right now.
He looked at the three of them, awestruck, and let out a heartfelt sigh.
Holy crap. Woke up to find Red Mom beating up Rudeus at the Greyrat house during the early childhood arc??
And White Mom’s right here trying to break them apart??
What the hell?
Do I get to watch this level of peak content for free??
Of course, not everyone had Allen’s fanboy-level composure. He was practically changing angles every few seconds for a full 360-degree live-view of the drama.
Paul, stunned at first, finally snapped out of it and rushed to intervene, activating his battle aura.
Sylphy also threw her arms around Eris, trying to hold her back—only to be flung to the ground by a single shake of Eris’s arm.
Still, she got back up, ready to try again.
Until she heard a scream loud enough to rupture her eardrums:
“Get out of my way! Don’t hold me back!!”
“How could someone shorter than me possibly teach me swordsmanship?! Ghislaine is my real sword instructor!! If you want to send some Rudeus-whatever to teach me magic, fine—but why add another guy to teach swordsmanship too?!”
Sylphy blinked. Her hands dropped to her sides.
Eris’s words cut straight through her, dragging her back to that unsettled, uncertain place she’d been in earlier—the one where everything felt like it was shifting beneath her feet.
That sharp, brash voice rang in her ears.
Again and again.
“Rudeus is bad enough—and now there’s another one.”
Rudeus.
Allen.
Two boys.
Home tutors.
A better education.
Growing up together happily.
Sylphy looked down at her skirt—the one she’d been so careful not to dirty for nearly a month.
It was completely ruined now.
Her gaze lifted, almost instinctively, toward Allen—eyes flickering with uncertainty.
But instead of looking at his face, her attention landed on a small tuft of wild grass growing from the coarse yellow soil at his feet.
She didn’t lift her eyes.
Philip had come here to throw a wrench into Allen’s path.
But instead, he had dropped a heavy stone right into the quiet lake of a young girl’s heart.
And it was starting to crush her.
—
This is a fan translation of 无职转生：剑，魔法帽与恋爱系统 by 意外火灾 All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!
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