“What, I’m not even allowed to be seen off properly now?”
Roxy pouted, cheeks puffed out in frustration as she glared at Allen, who was lounging in the carriage with his sword in his arms like he hadn’t a care in the world.
“I—I thought you were coming with me to be an adventurer! But instead you…”
When Allen had first jumped aboard, he’d explained he was only escorting her for a bit. Roxy, who had been all smiles, was immediately left completely flustered—and fuming. She turned her face to the window, mumbling incoherently.
“You go missing when it’s time for goodbyes, and now here you are tagging along anyway. Might as well have stayed with the others… Sneaking off like this, just to go back again in a while… makes no sense…”
Allen couldn’t help but find her expression a little funny. He understood full well that Roxy—starved of companionship for so long—had misunderstood this as him finally agreeing to her suggestion from two months ago: to hit the road together as adventurers.
You’re a wanted man, aren’t you? Why not just disappear and start over somewhere far away?
But right now, Allen couldn’t do that. After all, he was still participating in the “Jobless Reincarnation” main event.
He shook his head. “If I snuck out, it’s obviously not just for a quick send-off. Didn’t you say a week ago there were bandits on the road outside Rigait City? If that’s because of me, then it’s only fair I see you safely there.”
“You already killed a few of them last time. If they attack again with more numbers, maybe even a real swordsman in the mix… what will you do then?”
Roxy turned to him, blinking, caught off guard. His logic felt slippery, like he was trying to weasel around something—but she had to admit, it sounded pretty reasonable at first blush. Just as she was about to question it more deeply, Allen added:
“From the look of it, that bandit camp’s definitely involved in some shady business—probably slave trafficking. If they really captured you… we might next meet on the black market. In the, y’know, loli section—ow!”
Roxy kicked him sharply without even turning her head, returning her gaze to the window.
Allen blinked, then sighed with relief. As long as she wasn’t questioning whether it was reasonable for him to go to Rigait, all was good. Clearing out the Assault Dogs? That was something he’d handle alone.
For one, he didn’t want to drag Roxy into more trouble—and if he mentioned his real reason, she’d probably insist on coming along. Kind-hearted ‘Blue Mom’ that she was.
Besides, Allen had spent the night thinking carefully and had settled on a guiding principle for his future actions:
Maintain the original plotline as much as possible while farming points, in order to unlock perfect-score bonus rewards for each arc. If those two goals clashed? He’d rather forgo the points than disrupt the story with major butterfly effects.
From a rational standpoint, future knowledge was a far more stable and powerful advantage than any temporary reward.
That meant—Allen decided—the butterfly effect involving Roxy had reached its limit. Better to avoid further deviations that might interfere with her future role in the story.
Secondly: he didn’t need help. For this kind of back-alley scum hiding in the woods, there was no chance a Saint-ranked or stronger would be there. Even if there were any strong individuals involved, they’d be kept close to the bandit leader—not wasted guarding some remote outpost.
This made it the perfect grind spot for the relatively quiet Childhood Arc.
But it wasn’t just for sharpening his blade. Allen also wanted to eliminate the threat before the bandits could get curious enough to sniff out Buena Village. As long as he left no survivors and torched the place, it’d be next to impossible for anyone to trace it back to him.
In other words: reset all the narrative deviations.
Allen glanced at Roxy, who looked much calmer now, and smiled.
“But hey, we’ll definitely get a chance to be adventurers together someday—I promise. I’m still too young right now, and, well, I’m wanted, obviously. There’s no way I’m going home to inherit the family estate.”
He shrugged.
“So once I’ve trained for a few more years under Paul and polished my swordplay, I’ll come find you. Then we can team up. Sound good?”
After the Teleportation Incident, moving with Roxy wouldn’t be a bad idea. With my new locator ability, I can avoid that dumb scene where they just miss each other at the port. Not bad at all.
Roxy gave him a sidelong glance and finally remembered—Allen was only nine years old. It was easy to forget, what with how tall he was and how maturely he handled himself.
“…I keep forgetting you’re just nine. The way you sweet-talk, it really doesn’t sound like a child at all.”
Allen gave a deadpan frown.
“Since when do I sweet-talk?”
Roxy stared at him for a long moment, then—abruptly changed the subject.
“But I didn’t pack enough food.”
Allen perked up and pulled a small jar of powdered Batils flower seed from his coat with a grin.
“See? I came prepared! You like spicy-sweet stuff, right? I can hunt some magic beasts, and grill ’em up with—”
He stopped mid-sentence as he noticed Roxy staring at the powder with a… very odd expression.
Oh no. I forgot. This stuff causes dizziness in large doses. I was sure I wouldn’t see her again for years! Wait—has she already…?!
Roxy narrowed her eyes at the jar, then looked at Allen, back and forth. Finally, she clicked her tongue and muttered:
“…You’ve got some nerve, pulling that out yourself.”
“Wait—I can explain.”
Before he could go on, Roxy dug through her bag and pulled out an empty jar of the exact same powder. She scratched her cheek, face slightly red.
“…I know it has, uh, ‘alternative’ uses. But it really is delicious. Good thing I know Detoxification magic. But just so we’re clear—every time I eat this from now on, I’m casting [Detoxification] on myself afterward.”
“Alternative” uses, huh?! If I really wanted to be a creep, why wouldn’t I just go buy actual aphrodisiacs?! And why are you saying this so seriously, like I’m gonna physically restrain you to stop you casting [Detoxification]?! Do I LOOK like that kind of pervert?!
Allen’s lips twitched. He had a dozen complaints, but none he could say aloud.
“…Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.”
“Give it here. I’ll keep it. If I want to eat it, I’ll ask. That way you don’t go sprinkling it all over everything.”
“…You just want to keep it for yourself.”
“No, I don’t!”
…
That night, in Buena Village—
Rudeus stared blankly into the shrine at the tiny white boxer briefs inside.
They were his.
And he had no idea why.
—
T/N: heh
This is a fan translation of 无职转生：剑，魔法帽与恋爱系统 by 意外火灾 All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!
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