“Alright, alright. Since this is our first time officially meeting, I’ll cut you a deal,” Gu Sanqiu shrugged casually. “You help teach your Hall Master a few things down the road, and we’ll call it even. How about ten thousand mora for the brick?”
“A very fair price indeed,” Zhongli stroked his chin thoughtfully. “Helping the Hall Master become a more qualified leader of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor is already part of my duty.”
“Thanks, I’ll remember this favor,” Zhongli added. “As for paying the ten thousand mora… I’ll leave that in the capable hands of the Hall Master.”
“Hey!”
(#`O′)
Item Acquired: Favor of the Geo Archon.
Gu Sanqiu silently narrated to himself, though he wasn’t entirely sure how useful that would be.
“Hold on, what do you mean by teaching me? Are you implying that I’m not doing a good enough job as the Hall Master?” Hu Tao thumped her fist on the table, clearly frustrated. Keqing, seated next to her, quickly tried to calm her down, understanding that such comments could be offensive to a host.
But on the other hand, the fact that Gu Sanqiu dared to speak this openly showed how comfortable everyone here was with each other. After all, no one at this table was really an outsider.
“Stop coming up with those weird little poems of yours all the time and focus more on learning the essentials. You’re the head of Wangsheng Funeral Parlor—there are a lot of people counting on you to keep things running smoothly…” Gu Sanqiu activated his long-winded Nagging skill.
Hu Tao’s vision dimmed as if the world were closing in around her.
“Alright, alright, I’ll go get the main course. We’ve almost finished dinner anyway, and unlike me, you all have work tomorrow.” Gu Sanqiu stood up to fetch the final dish, leaving the trio to stare at each other.
Keqing pondered the concept of an “otherworld,” while Hu Tao sat puffing her cheeks like a pufferfish, glaring at Zhongli. She was plotting her next move: The Wrath of the Hall Master.
This guy had not only disrespected her as the head of the funeral parlor, but he also had the nerve to make her foot the bill?
Reasserting the authority of the Hall Master is our duty!
“Here we are, tonight’s main course!” Gu Sanqiu returned, unveiling the dish with a flourish. A golden light shone from the tray, immediately drawing everyone’s attention.
Then… they saw it. A pile of… plain potatoes.
“Even though I was expecting this, it still feels off,” Hu Tao and Keqing both rolled their eyes at him. “Are you at war with potatoes today or something?”
“Hm, this is just an ordinary tray without any light effects installed. So, the golden glow is actually coming from these seemingly ordinary potatoes?” Zhongli’s analytical nature kicked in again. “But, golden-glowing potatoes… What’s the logic behind that?”
“It’s not about logic. The ingredient itself is special, that’s all,” Gu Sanqiu quickly cut in, trying to avoid letting Zhongli overanalyze the situation. The last thing he needed was for Zhongli to turn into some kind of Teyvat detective, bringing an ominous curse upon Liyue like a certain death magnet from a distant land.
Item: Golden Potatoes.
Origin: Hidden Domain.
Danger Level: Level One.
Note: Some say these potatoes are as valuable as gold of the same mass. Others believe they are evidence of time passing beneath the earth. Use them wisely—otherwise, they might turn into dust.
Gu Sanqiu initially didn’t think much of these potatoes until his mysterious “golden finger” added that final note. Now, he took them seriously. The mention of danger level—even though it was unclear if level one was the highest or lowest—suggested that these potatoes weren’t ordinary.
Previously, the oversized chicken leg and the strange fish-tailed sheep hadn’t come with danger labels. Yet, this string of potatoes, inexplicably, did.
In a world governed by elemental forces like Teyvat, transforming into dust wasn’t outside the realm of possibility.
“Hm, an intriguing ingredient indeed. Well, I’ll have to give it a try.” Zhongli picked up a piece of potato with his chopsticks and placed it in his mouth.
“Hmm…” Zhongli frowned slightly, making the others tense up. Was something wrong with it?
“It’s exceptionally delicious. I’ve learned something new today—who would’ve thought a descendant of the Fengxiang Clan could cook like this?”
Beads of sweat formed on Gu Sanqiu’s forehead.
What do you do when your boss’s boss, the same one who arranged your ancestors’ jobs, questions whether you’re slacking off?
“Hehe, then I’ll just have to give it a try too!” Hu Tao chimed in, eager to dig in.
ლ(´ڡ`ლ)
“Is this… all part of the grind?” Gu Sanqiu muttered as he picked up his own piece of golden potato. However, as he did, he overheard Zhongli’s quiet, almost unconscious murmur: “Is this what they call erosion?”
Gu Sanqiu’s hand shook, nearly dropping his chopsticks. Zhongli, erosion is not something you bring up lightly!
“It’s just a potato, why are we suddenly talking about heavenly principles?” Gu Sanqiu thought to himself as he took a bite. The moment the potato hit his tongue, an indescribable sensation surged through him, like a raging dragon made of pure potato flavor, engulfing him entirely.
“What powerful energy,” Gu Sanqiu smirked coldly as the taste overwhelmed him. The dragon of pure potato was rich, free of any added seasonings—just the pure, unadulterated flavor.
It was strange, as if some mysterious force within the potato was pulling him back through time, forcing him to relive his memories. His face contorted, his eyes glowing dark gold as if he were battling a powerful monster.
Yet, just as he started to regain control, he found he couldn’t move. It was like walking upstream in a river of memories, only to realize halfway that the river had vanished, as if it had never been there.
“Hmm, if I continue recalling further, will it bring me back to the old me?” Gu Sanqiu stretched out his hand toward the abyss but chose not to press forward.
“All I know for sure is that level one danger must be the lowest. Otherwise, I’d be far more affected than this,” he reasoned. He resolved to handle future ingredients with more care.
The flavor roamed through his body like a rampaging beast, but gradually, a different sensation began to rise—a sense of satisfaction. It was as though all the food he’d ever eaten in his life reawakened, forming a battalion of delicious flavors within him. The scent of potato stew, the crunch of fried potato cakes, the richness of braised beef… all came together to shield him from the angry potato dragon’s fury.
It felt like the food inside him, like loyal soldiers, stood guard, battling the potato dragon into submission and sending it back into his stomach.
A profound feeling of contentment welled up inside him, as if after a great battle, his body and mind were seated together, sharing a feast, their laughter and the aroma of food filling every corner of his being.
“To be satisfied with what’s in front of you, huh?” Gu Sanqiu opened his eyes. “But I’m not someone who settles for that easily!”
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