Uma Musume: Your Uma Has A Problem! [36]

After getting onto the train, Kagura, feeling extremely—maybe even overwhelmingly—uneasy, opened her Umastagram account to see what exactly had happened.

Naturally, the first thing she checked was Curren-chan’s post from earlier today. Kagura hadn’t uploaded any new videos yet, so there was only one possible reason for this sudden influx of followers: Curren-chan had driven traffic her way.

[I’ve been curious since I first saw Kagura-sensei’s videos—her hands looked tiny, like a child’s. Turns out she really is a child! Both of you are too cute!]

[Two waifus at once! My heart can’t take it!]

[Sensei’s cooking is already this good at such a young age? Everyone, I’m about to do something incredibly greedy!]

[Shameful guy above me! Have some dignity!]

[Thanks for the meal! Blissful!]

…

The moment Kagura opened the comment section, a huge mass of colorful, varied comments flooded her screen, mixed with some Chinese comments too. Curren-chan had even replied to some understandable comments—but many were so absurdly abstract that Kagura doubted even machine translation could help Curren-chan figure them out.

Ah, yes—this is exactly the flavor of home!

Scrolling past the seemingly normal top comments, Kagura suddenly felt transported to a completely different world upon encountering those abstract, bizarre Chinese comments below:

[Hehe… Kagura-sensei and Curren-chan imouto… tiny, soft, fragrant…]

[A turtle carrying a barbershop!]

[Oh no! I got two new masters in one day, my neck won’t be enough!]

[I want Curren-chan imouto to step on me barefoot with a disgusted expression and then run to Kagura-sensei’s embrace to seek comfort only to be pushed away in disgust and stepped on again AHHHHH!!]

[Both Curren-chan imouto and Kagura-sensei are illegal! Arrest everyone above me and give them a pound of peanuts each!]

——Uh… you modern people… no, I mean you people from there… you all play this hardcore?

Browsing halfway through the absurd Chinese comments, even Eclipse couldn’t hold back anymore; her words appeared on Kagura’s screen as if she’d barely managed to type them out after intense hesitation. Although shocked Eclipse could actually understand Chinese, Kagura knew her urgent priority wasn’t surprise—it was desperately preventing Eclipse from developing a serious misunderstanding about Chinese netizens.

Please don’t misunderstand my people, please! Don’t confuse these weirdos with normal modern humans!!

Covered in black lines, Kagura hastily distanced herself from the situation. Though she’d anticipated some bizarre comments, she’d seriously underestimated how overwhelming it would feel when targeted directly at herself. After all, watching from the sidelines and being the object of these insane comments were entirely different experiences. Even for someone with more than a decade of internet experience, halfway through reading, Kagura nearly lost her mind.

[You have a private message!]

Feeling about to explode, Kagura was just about to close out of that post’s comments when suddenly her Umastagram pinged with a new private message notification.

Out of curiosity, Kagura opened the message, wondering which deity had decided to privately contact her.

The sender was a Japanese user called “Umaoshi.” Kagura recalled seeing her comment earlier as one of the popular top comments—the one that had said, “Thanks for the meal! Blissful!”

[Kagura-sensei!! I’ve been following you for a long time!! Could I ask where your restaurant is? Your food looks so delicious—I really want to visit!]

[Thank you for your support~ but I don’t have a restaurant. My videos are recorded during my regular job.]

[Eh?! Kagura-sensei’s regular job is making Chinese cuisine? Where can I find the place you work?]

[I don’t work at a restaurant. My job is campus support staff, so I’m sorry—I can’t give you a store address.]

[Eh… what a shame…]

Kagura could sense this fan’s disappointment, but she really had no intention of publicly revealing her exact workplace. Curren-chan had also promised to keep things secret. Perhaps some Tracen students familiar with the cafeteria might recognize her through the video details, but they would definitely be a minority. If someone truly managed to track her down at Tracen, Kagura wouldn’t mind personally treating them to her handmade snacks.

After replying to a few more earnest comments asking genuine cooking questions, and confirming there were no other new messages, Kagura finally closed Umastagram and let out a long, relieved sigh.

Her sudden rise in followers genuinely made her happy. She hadn’t imagined herself so lucky as to run into Curren-chan, a big influencer, completely by chance during today’s trip—especially one who happened to already be her fan and eagerly asked for a selfie.

Kagura considered doing something special for her fans soon. Actually, she’d long had an obsession—one extraordinarily difficult dish. Even in her previous life, she’d successfully made it just once: Buddha Jumps Over the Wall. Previously, while searching for ingredients, Kagura had intended to prepare for this dish. But after searching all over, she hadn’t managed to find some crucial ingredients—especially the special alcohol from China required for it. Currently, she had absolutely no way of obtaining this liquor. Forget whether or not Japan even had it—Kagura, as a minor, couldn’t buy alcohol here anyway.

——I keep sensing your desire to cook this dish. Is it really that tasty?

Feeling Kagura’s repeated yearning for it, Eclipse—who’d already sensed Kagura’s repeated thoughts about the dish—finally grew curious.

Of course! I guarantee it’s a taste Eclipse-san will never forget after one bite! It’s the legendary dish so delicious that even gods leap walls to taste it!

——That impressive, huh… How nice, your hometown has so many tasty foods. The dishes from my hometown… I’d feel embarrassed introducing them.

Different regions, different cultures—it’s totally normal~ Eclipse-san can join me next time when I’m eating.

Although Eclipse had never explicitly said where she was from, Kagura could roughly guess. There weren’t many places globally known for a flourishing afternoon tea culture—let alone places whose culinary reputation revolved solely around afternoon tea desserts.

Compared to Eclipse’s culinary wasteland, Kagura felt genuinely proud. She could confidently claim that Chinese cuisine alone allowed her to cook different dishes three meals a day for an entire year without repeating—surely enough to satisfy Eclipse’s tastes.

——Alright, next time I’ll join you and taste it myself! Just don’t harm me with some dark cuisine, okay?

Relax~ If Eclipse-san is going to taste it through me, I’ll always eat it first—I’d never deliberately hurt myself.

Chattering back and forth like this, Kagura returned to the Tracen station before she knew it.

—

This is a fan translation of 你这后勤马娘有问题啊 by 惰性大发 All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!