“No problem.”
Jia Changjiang rolled his wrists, preparing himself. “Bubu Pharmacy, right? Let’s head there now.”
He turned to Childe with a smirk. “We’ll save the sparring for next time, shall we?”
“Of course,” Childe replied, raising his hands in a show of mock surrender. “But who knows? Next time, I might make the first move.”
As the group left for the pharmacy, Childe flexed his hand, the one that had deflected Jia Changjiang’s punch. A sly grin spread across his face.
“That reaction… Did he sense my hostility? Sharp instincts. I nearly lost control there.”
—
On the way to Bubu Pharmacy, Paimon hugged her arms and shivered slightly. “That was tense… I think I felt a bit of killing intent back there.”
Jia Changjiang said nothing, his expression calm as they approached the famous pharmacy.
Bubu Pharmacy’s entrance was quiet, its atmosphere oddly eerie. Despite its reputation as Liyue’s premier medical establishment, there wasn’t a soul in sight—not even behind the counter.
“This is creepy,” Paimon muttered. “Why’s it so empty? Shouldn’t there at least be someone at the front desk?”
Before anyone could respond, a soft, monotone voice echoed through the pharmacy.
“Welcome to Bubu Pharmacy… I am Qiqi…”
“Huh? Who said that?” Lumine took a cautious step forward.
“The voice seems to be coming from the counter,” Zhongli noted, motioning toward the source.
Walking closer, they noticed a small blue hat just barely visible above the counter. Then, from behind it, a petite figure emerged—a small girl with lavender hair, a charm affixed to her forehead, and an expression as blank as a blank page.
“There you are!” Paimon exhaled in relief. “She’s so tiny she doesn’t even reach the counter!”
Lumine glanced at Paimon with a smirk. “You’re one to talk about height.”
“I’m floating, so it doesn’t count!” Paimon retorted indignantly. “But… isn’t she a little strange? That charm on her forehead… could she be a zombie?”
“Hey there, little one,” Jia Changjiang said casually, reaching out to pat Qiqi’s head. “Is there an adult here I can talk to?”
Qiqi tilted her head slightly, puzzled by the gesture, but answered in her monotone. “Mr. Bai… is not here. Qiqi… has died once. Then saved… by an Adeptus. Qiqi is… a zombie.”
“Ohhh!” Lumine clapped her hands together. “The Adepti are amazing! Saving such a cute child… This land truly is blessed by the gods!”
“Absolutely,” Paimon agreed. “In Mondstadt, something like this would be unthinkable…”
Her voice trailed off as she muttered under her breath, “No way Venti would ever do something so responsible.”
Jia Changjiang chuckled. “Venti has his own ways of helping. Anyway, we’re here for a reason.”
Stepping forward, Zhongli addressed Qiqi. “Little one, does your pharmacy carry the Everlasting Incense?”
Qiqi tilted her head again, her voice unchanging. “Do you… have a prescription? Prescriptions are… needed to take medicine.”
“But Everlasting Incense isn’t a medical item, is it? It’s used for ceremonial purposes,” Zhongli explained, his brow furrowing slightly.
“Without prescription… Qiqi can’t help. Qiqi has… issued this command… to herself.”
“Command? What does that mean?” Lumine asked, her curiosity piqued.
Zhongli offered an explanation. “Zombies operate under commands known as dictates. It seems Qiqi has set her own rules and follows them to the letter.”
“Qiqi, we don’t have a prescription,” Zhongli continued, his tone patient. “But we truly need your help to acquire the incense.”
Qiqi closed her eyes briefly, as if in deep thought, before nodding slowly. “Qiqi… can help. But you… help Qiqi too. Fair trade… for fairness.”
“Help? With what? Tell us!” Jia Changjiang declared confidently. “You might not know this, but we’re rising stars of the Adventurers’ Guild! Any task is a piece of cake for us!”
With an exaggerated flourish, Jia Changjiang extended a hand. Lumine followed his lead.
“If you’re asking sincerely,” Jia Changjiang began.
“Then we’ll graciously provide the answer!” Lumine added.
Jia Changjiang: “To defend the peace of Teyvat!”
Lumine: “To protect the delicacies and beauties of all seven nations!”
Jia Changjiang: “A master of arms, seeking strength and serenity!”
Lumine: “The adorable and charming me!”
Together, they clapped hands, shouting in unison: “We’re the Adventurers’ Guild’s rising stars! A brighter tomorrow awaits us!”
Paimon gawked at them before stomping her foot. “What was that?! And why did I get dragged into this nonsense?!”
She turned to Qiqi, arms crossed. “Anyway, isn’t it unfair for the shopkeeper to ask customers for help?”
“Not at all,” Zhongli interjected calmly. “In Liyue, all transactions are rooted in mutual understanding and balance. Qiqi’s request reflects the art of negotiation.”
Qiqi nodded solemnly. “Then… go to Qingce Mountain. Use the… Guizhong Ballista… to hunt a Coconut Goat for me.”
“Guizhong Ballista? Coconut Goat?” Lumine repeated, blinking. “Those are some strange terms…”
“The Guizhong Ballista is an ancient mechanism built by the Adepti, located atop Qingce Mountain,” Zhongli explained. “It’s a powerful ballista, designed to fend off large monsters.”
“And the Coconut Goat?” Lumine asked.
Qiqi’s tone remained flat as she replied. “A… half-immortal beast… said to exist… in legends. Looks like… don’t know. Lives where… don’t know. Origin… don’t know.”
“That’s… not much to go on,” Paimon muttered.
“We’ll start with the ballista,” Zhongli suggested. “Perhaps the location itself will provide some answers.”
—
Reaching the Guizhong Ballista atop Qingce Mountain, the group was awestruck by the sheer size of the mechanism.
“It’s huge!” Paimon exclaimed, her eyes wide. “What kind of monsters were they fighting with this thing? And how do you even operate it?”
Zhongli placed a hand on the ballista, his gaze distant. “The Adeptus Guizhong crafted this device to automatically defend against massive creatures. It has stood here for generations, a silent guardian of Liyue’s borders.”
His voice grew softer. “And it remains here, awaiting the moment it’s needed once more.”
—
This is a fan translation of 武器大师在原神绝不死于徒手 by 徐人双 All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!
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