Whatever name this competition might have—
At its core, it was a test packed full of multiple-choice decisions. Traps, correct answers, guesswork…
Could Garden Gale find the perfect answers?
That question rose quietly into everyone’s mind.
But unbeknownst to them—Garden Gale’s secret cheat had already activated.
At this very moment, Garden Gale had become the ultimate intuition hacker!
Do you remember?
In the story from 2000, at the Arima Kinen, T.M. Opera O had been trapped by Team Shadai. Yet, in a flash of miraculous instinct, she carved out an impossible path straight through the blockade—storming toward victory from a position where one slight misstep would have meant defeat.
Or consider—Tokai Teio’s legendary comeback in her own Arima Kinen.
From the very back at the final curve, she’d performed a positional miracle—vaulting herself directly into contention, then blazing down the final stretch with an unbreakable spirit, going toe-to-toe with Biwa Hayahide!
All of these moments hinged entirely on near-supernatural intuition.
Combined with racing experience, intuition was unquestionably one of the most lethal weapons a racer could possess.
…
Garden Gale obediently sat on the bench.
Kanzaki Sakura pulled out her phone, quickly opened an app, and a short loading animation flickered by as she casually explained, “This might look like a game—well, it actually is one. Ever played RPGs? You get multiple-choice scenarios, right? Here, I’ve condensed every strategic decision into a single race.”
The screen flashed to life.
A grassy racetrack appeared, the familiar fanfare echoing through every Umamusume’s bones.
An outsider might’ve thought these girls were secretly playing Uma Musume: Pretty Derby.
Yes, I’m actually playing Uma Musume: Pretty Derby!
“This race is two thousand meters,” Air Shakur interjected suddenly, filling in details Kanzaki omitted. “You need to pick a running style for your Umamusume. Treat it like an ordinary G1 race—but keep in mind, your physical ability isn’t high enough to crush everyone else outright.”
Air Shakur’s eyes were locked on Garden Gale, unblinking.
She continued, voice serious, “So, your choices here are critical.”
Garden Gale replied without hesitation, “Late Surger!”
If she chose “Front Runner” or “End Closer,” there wouldn’t be as many complex judgments—just raw force or patient waiting. She could barrel straight through or pick her moment patiently.
However Garden Gale wanted to hone herself, push her skills toward the absolute pinnacle.
Since it was just a simulation, why not choose the most demanding style? “Late Surger” required constant judgment: positioning battles, tactical shifts, and split-second decisions, far more than any other style.
After confirming her choice—
Kanzaki casually tossed the phone at Garden Gale, nearly catching her off-guard as she scrambled to catch it. Immediately, the screen showed a large [Loading].
“Play away,” Kanzaki urged simply.
…
The scene suddenly shifted to Garden Gale sitting alone on the bench, awkwardly gripping the phone.
Behind her stood four people—two from the Student Council, two from Team LOCK—all craning their necks, peering over her shoulder, watching her play on a phone screen.
What a strange sight.
A simulated race.
Taking a deep breath—Garden Gale struggled to calm herself, clearing her mind, sharpening her focus. She treated even this seemingly ridiculous mobile game with utmost seriousness—because she’d learned firsthand the bitter taste of underestimating T.M. Opera O.
Once bitten, twice shy.
And then—the character controlled by Garden Gale bolted out!
The gates flashed open, signaling the official start. The animation unfolded automatically.
Garden glanced up with a puzzled expression toward Sakura.
“Just keep going,” Kanzaki replied flatly.
The shallow, pointless conversation ended quickly, and the on-screen race approached the first corner—
Suddenly—
A dialogue box popped up:
[In this race, you’re a challenger, determined to seize victory despite your weaker physical abilities. You’re forced to rely on a miracle. Approaching the first corner, what’s your choice?]
[1. Conserve stamina, fall to the back.]
[2. Hold steady, seize a middle position.]
[3. Fortune favors the bold—make an aggressive early push!]
[4. Screw it, go absolutely insane—Runaway!]
Garden Gale stared blankly at the options.
Then slowly raised her eyes toward Sakura.
Kanzaki turned away, feigning innocence. “The last one was Air Shakur’s idea.”
—There’s no way that’s legit!
And why was there even a “Runaway” option? She’d chosen “Late Surger.” This had to be some twisted designer humor!
Taking a breath, Garden quickly parsed the scenario again.
A challenger—physically weaker, dependent on miracles? Clearly, at a disadvantage.
Miracles weren’t gifts from above. They were born from decisions made on the track.
Garden Gale knew this deeply.
After a brief moment’s thought, she avoided reckless choices.
Instead, she decisively selected option two: hold steady, seize a middle position. After all, the center was adaptable—as long as she avoided getting boxed in.
This brought up yet another crucial skill:
Predicting her opponents’ movements.
Reaching peak racing performance might seem simple—but the deeper skills required could drive a racer mad if tackled all at once.
The race continued.
Symboli Rudolf, standing closest behind Garden Gale, watched the screen intently, analyzing each decision made.
Not just the corners—but countless minor, intricate choices appeared, enough to give anyone a headache. Admirably, Garden Gale read each carefully, responding without complaint—and each response was exactly—
Exactly what Rudolf herself would’ve chosen.
The Emperor placed herself in Garden Gale’s shoes and found their decisions matched completely.
She drew a deep, quiet breath.
No shock appeared on her face this time.
Not because Garden Gale was unimpressive, but because, suddenly, it felt unsurprising. Garden Gale doing something incredible? It was expected. She was always that terrifying.
Nearby, Kanzaki Sakura clenched her fists tightly.
It was here.
The most exhilarating moment had finally arrived.
Three consecutive, deadly decisions—each artfully laced with traps.
All before had merely been appetizers.
Now—
It was finally time to measure an Umamusume’s true racing IQ!
—
This is a fan translation of 社恐马娘不想贴贴！by 杜子春. Rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!
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