When Takumachi An woke up, he found himself in another version of Japan—and transformed into the white-haired high school girl Tadayana Volkova. With his resolve to face difficulties head-on, she quickly adapted to the change. Then, on one dazzling afternoon, eager to put everything she had learned from manga about pursuing the beautiful light-novel life into practice, she confessed to the school’s unattainable flower, Yukinoshita Yukino.
And got rejected…
Where would the disheartened white-haired girl go from there…?
…
Watching a certain white-haired girl gradually become surrounded by others, a certain anonymous someone: I might be starting to regret it.
THE CONTRADICTIONS OF YOUTH.
——————————————————————————————————————
“Please go out with me, Yukinoshita-san!”
“Your motives are unclear, so I must refuse. Also, you’re a girl too, aren’t you? Then why…?”
At Sobu High School, a white-haired girl with a slender waist and a flat, tightly toned stomach had stopped a black-haired girl with long, straight hair in the middle of passing by. Her complexion was pale, but rather than making her look unhealthy, it gave her a kind of sickly beauty. One glance was enough to tell that she was beautiful.
And the person she had stopped was Sobu High School’s unattainable flower—Yukinoshita Yukino.
To Yukinoshita Yukino, this encounter on the stairs should have been nothing more than the two of them brushing past each other. There had been no reason for them to speak at all. And yet this white-haired girl, who looked a little off in the head, had suddenly opened with a confession.
“So if I explain my reasons, you’ll agree? All right. The truth is, I want to experience the greatest, greatest happiness people can have at this age. It’s also one of the regrets I never managed to settle before. So when I heard the most beautiful, most beautiful girl in school was here, I wanted to ask what you thought. Would you be willing to do something like that with me and try what people call being in love?”
“Should I call that astonishing self-importance, or astonishing confidence? I’m honestly impressed you can say all that without the slightest embarrassment. You certainly were direct, but now I have even more reason to refuse.”
“All right. Sorry for bothering you.”
With that, the white-haired girl gave a brief bow, then turned and left.
Yukinoshita Yukino had not expected her to leave so cleanly. She had assumed the girl would keep pestering her for a while longer. Instead, she had turned out to be surprisingly sensible.
Yukinoshita had heard of this slightly odd beauty before. She was a first-year who had enrolled at Sobu High School this year. As for her name, it was one of those names that sounded extremely foreign… what was it again…?
Oh, right. Tadayana Volkova. That was it…
Honestly unbelievable. To think someone that beautiful would apparently have such an abnormal sexual orientation.
Meanwhile, after turning a corner, Tadayana came to a stop. She opened her notebook, crossed one item off, and jotted a few notes beside it.
When she closed it again, the cover clearly read:
[Things to Do to Bring Understanding and Practice into Alignment. (IN PROGRESS).]
…
Inside the faculty office, Shizuka Hiratsuka looked at an exemplary essay with a pained expression. Right at the top was the title: Youth is lies. Youth is evil. The opening line alone was so painfully chuunibyou that it left her at a loss for words. Having a problem child like this in her class gave her endless headaches.
Then she opened the teachers’ group chat and discovered that one of the first-year homeroom teachers had also posted an essay by a student with questionable ideological tendencies. Only then did the deep furrow in her brow finally ease.
Oh. So it wasn’t just her. Other teachers had problem children too. That was a relief…
Like hell it was!!
The fact that one or two kids like this were still part of the country’s future made her deeply uneasy.
Even so, in an attempt to ease her anxiety, she started reading the other student’s “excellent” essay that had been posted as well.
–
[In a World Spiraling Upward, How Should One Save Oneself?]
People always long for stability. They long for a once-and-for-all answer that settles everything forever. School teaches us that “1 + 1 = 2,” and society tells us that “hard work brings reward,” as though the world were built from one solid formula after another.
The truth is that the only thing in this world that never changes is that it is always changing. And what drives all of it is not some grand ideal or divine will, but something far more universal—contradiction.
Anything you believe in without the slightest doubt already contains within itself the seed of its own destruction. In the end, it turns into its opposite. That is what dialectics calls a “reversal.”
And using contradiction properly to understand problems, solve problems, and attain inner peace for oneself—that is what we should be doing.
Thesis (Side A): You firmly believe that “being alone is shameful,” so you desperately try to fit in. You like posts on social media and force smiles in real life. You think you’ve built a fortress of solid friendship.
Antithesis (Side B): But before long, you realize that every insincere word you say just to fit in piles up inside you as disgust for yourself. That fortress was built from sand called “hypocrisy.”
Synthesis (Side C, the reversal): And so you finally realize that neither “loneliness” nor “fitting in” is the answer. The real answer is to have the courage, after going through hypocritical conformity, to choose high-quality solitude; or, while enjoying solitude, not lose the ability to form genuine connections with others.
See? The “truth” you once worshipped is dead, and yet because of that, you arrive somewhere more real. That is reversal.
We live in a cycle of constant self-negation, negation of negation, and self-transcendence. What you firmly believe today is exactly what you’ll be proving yourself wrong about tomorrow.
The essence of the world is one grand, noisy, never-ending spectacle of people proving themselves wrong. And true strength lies not in avoiding that, but in embracing it gladly—perhaps even taking pleasure in personally slapping awake the naive self you were yesterday.
Does that sound despairing? No.
On the contrary, that is the greatest freedom of all. Because it means no predicament lasts forever. Every “thesis” inevitably contains the “antithesis” that will overturn it. Hope already exists in embryonic form within despair itself. The means to solve a problem already exist inside the problem once it has been exposed.
Failure? That is merely success preparing its reversal.
The end? That means a new beginning is already on the way. So come study dialectics with me!
—by Tadayana Volkova
–
Tadayana Volkova…
Was she a foreigner?
Seeing the student’s name, Hiratsuka paused to think for a moment, but she was quickly drawn in by the contents of the essay.
What? Isn’t this kid perfectly normal?
This way of thinking is completely correct. Contradiction is the driving force behind the internal development of things—exactly! What problem is there?! Seriously, that teacher surnamed Ozuru—do they even know how to grade? They gave this a zero?
They’re saying this student has issues? Seems to me you’re the one with the issue…
Tsk, tsk, tsk. The moment she compared the two, the better mood she had just managed to recover vanished on the spot.
The student from the other class was far better than the one in hers.
Not by just a little, either.
The more she thought about it, the angrier she got. Fine. She’d call him over and have a talk.
Having made up her mind, Shizuka Hiratsuka summoned Hachiman Hikigaya to the faculty office and gave him a fierce lecture.
At first, Hachiman Hikigaya found the whole thing baffling.
But after Hiratsuka tossed him a photocopy of Tadayana’s essay, he understood where the problem lay.
Because of this incident, he came to hold a grudge against this foreigner named Tadayana Volkova, whom he had never even met.
—
T/N: WOAH A GENDERBEND!!! ALSO YURI???? O M GGGGGGG anyway gonna be another vote at the end of chapter 5 yeah fuck you
heres the characters
yukino
shizuka hiratsuka
hachimann
heres a nice little reference if you cant think of a stand in for what the mc looks like!
she’s siesta from the detective is already dead
This is a fan translation of 转生白毛的我开局被雪之下拒绝告白 by 暗影之中 Rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!
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